Recently I was asked to define my location in the political spectrum.
"Well," I responded with carefully considered words, "I would have to say I'm a conservative. That's probably the closest to any kind of definition I could get, inasmuch as I believe in a limited government and a strong national defense."
One of the gentlemen I was with gave me a wary look as I continued.
"I wouldn't call myself a Republican. After all," I explained with a chuckle, "I wouldn't want to be confused with being like Lindsay Graham. Besides," I added, "I dislike being affiliated with political parties."
"Oh," the wary-eyed gentleman replied, "I skip all of that and just say I'm more Right than Atilla the Hun."
I'm not quite sure if he, a card-carrying member of the Republican Party, was criticising me for being a cop-out or not. And if he was, that's okay; my beliefs also include the idea that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, whether I agree with them or not.
But the exchange did inspire me to delve further into my own self-questioning (something we Jews do more often than not) as to why I dislike affiliating myself with any particular political party or generalized belief system.
Recently I picked up a copy of Fire from the Heartland, a Citizens United Productions documentary on conservative women. It's basically a litany of "famous" conservative female talking heads intermixed with a lot of B-roll of the American flag and other Rockwell-esque imagery. The majority of the statements these women make are along the same lines. As they tell their own stories of personal struggle (one whose divorced mother raised them paycheck to paycheck, another who was given over to her father's girlfriend to be raised because her own mother was a drug addict) they all concluded in the same fashion: "Work hard and you'll succeed, that's what makes America great, and that is the conservative vision."
I suppose if you started out living in poverty and managed to become a professional who was so successful they were asked to be interviewed for a film, you'd think America was pretty great. And I don't deny the validity of their opinions; they are based on personal experiences, and nothing is more real than an opinion based on personal experience.
So, what have my own personal experiences taught me about the greatness of the conservative vision? The most I could conclude after watching Fire from the Heartland is that, while this American vision may work for some people, it hasn't ever really worked for me.
Let's start with forced multicultural education in elementary school. For some reason, my township decided that, in an effort to be "multicultural", they would bus the kids from the newer (a.k.a. "whiter" "yuppie-er") schools to the older, still-as-white schools within the district. Then, as we all sat together, our white teachers would shake African rain sticks in front of us and tell us how cool the deserts and jungles of the Congo were. Afterwards, we would break up into small groups for "community building" activities.
Invariably, they would take the ten kids who represented various shades of ethnicity and split them up, one to each group. The kid assigned to my group was a fellow classmate I'd known since Kindergarten. In fact, this kid had actually been my "Kindergarten Boyfriend" so to speak--because holding hands during reading time is the essence of married life to the mind of a five year old.
The first thing we had to do as a group was come up with a team name. My fellow classmate (the "tan" one) came up with an idea. I said it was stupid. He proceeded to tell our teacher that I called him stupid, and when I clarified that I thought his idea was stupid, I was told that was an unacceptable critique, and I shouldn't be picking on him because he was different.
Looking back on the situation later, I would realize that I should have been the last one to be accused of racism, given that I was his first interracial romance (before I even knew he was "different"!) but, as they say, hindsight is 20-20--even if the lens of affirmative action isn't.
Needless to say, the "tan" boy's idea was the one we were encouraged to pick.
Experiential Lesson #1: The darker you are, the more things go your way.
Now, let's jump ahead to my job-hunting experiences after graduate school. I completed my Masters program with a solid 4.0 GPA. I was a member of two international honor societies. I had been awarded various academic scholarships and awards for academic achievement. I possessed excellent letters of recommendation.
And I couldn't get my foot in the door anywhere.
In fact, I can say for certain that a good 97% of the interviews I've been on have happened because I knew someone who could get me in the door. Out of the three "cold" interviews I walked into, two fizzled in the third round because of jealous female employees, and one turned into my first job at a bank-- because, I later found out, I was the only person who had no spelling mistakes on their application.
But Conservative organizations would be different. They would not judge me based on who I knew-- right? They would examine my credentials and be thoroughly impressed--they would want me to contribute my talents and skills to their team, right?
Well, one would, as long as I was willing to work in the DC Metro area for $25,000 a year.
"I can't even pay rent on that," I told the interviewer.
"Well," she openly admitted, "a lot of our workers find roommates."
"I don't know anyone around here. I'm completely new to the area," I explained.
"Well, a lot of people look on church bulletin boards."
"Uh, huh," I replied while playing casually with the Star of David around my neck.
After I interviewed for that position, I had a meeting with the head of another Conservative non-profit in downtown D.C. He proceeded to invite me into his office where we kibitzed for 45 minutes about Pravda, Ann Coulter, and policy platforms, before he told me that I ought to just move to D.C. and intern somewhere for a year, and I was bound to get my foot in the door somewhere.
Intern?
You're telling someone with thousands in student loan debt to work for free?
For a year?
And then, maybe, someone would like me well enough to pay me?
What the hell kind of capitalist are you?
Later I would explain it this way to my grandmother: They expected me to be a trust-fund baby. No one with my brains and my political views comes from a working class Jewish family. If they expect you to work for free, they expect you to have the economic support from home to sit on while you build your career.
Experiential Lesson #2: The more people you know, and the more silver spoons you were born with, the more successful you will become.
Some people will argue that I just didn't "put my nose to the grindstone" and "make it work." That I could have gone down to DC, found a room to rent off that church bulletin board, found a job bartending on nights and weekends, and worked that internship for all it was worth. I could have lived at poverty level for a few years, even deferred my loan payments-- it would have been an investment in my career.
To which I could easily argue back that I would have been looked at cross-eyed by my church-going landlords, put myself in awkward, even dangerous situations trying to find part time employment, and put my future and my quickly growing debt in the hands of people who couldn't be bothered to throw a stipend my way.
The truth of it is, I don't know for sure what would've happened if I took the risk and followed through. But I can say with certainty that it looked like a bad investment from the outset, and the actions of these two organizations did not match up to the great beliefs Conservatives tout. If you believe so much in rewarding good effort, why wouldn't you pay a living wage to talented employees? Do you want to solicit success or grunt work?
Which leads me to Experiential Lesson #3: Working hard does not result in being rewarded for what you are worth.
I have yet to get a good explanation for the simple fact that custodians and cleaners consistently rank at the bottom of the pay scale of any company or organization. These are the people who clean toilets-- if they weren't there and didn't do a good job, you would literally be catching who-knows-what disease at work-- and yet they reside at the bottom of the pay scale hill.
I have a number of friends who are freelancers in the television world. They live job-to-job, always hunting for work, and often scheduling themselves into 60-hour work weeks because they don't know where or if they'll get paid 6 months down the road. They work all hours of the day and night, they commute to various locations in the tri-state area, and sometimes the shoot they are on requires them to be in some dangerous locations.
They get paid hourly.
They have to set aside money to pay their own taxes at the end of the year.
They do not receive health benefits.
I am the last person to go around accusing "evil corporations" of all the crimes in the world. I believe privately-owned businesses, no matter the size, are the backbone of our economy. But when people talk about corporate greed, why is no one talking about the freelancers who work 40 hours a week for major networks like FOX and NBC, not even getting healthcare, let alone a guarantee of a steady paycheck?
What is the Conservative answer to that? That these people should work harder? They put in as many hours--often more--than most office-working Americans. Yet, because of the nature of the industry, they have to bust their butts to accumulate enough hours in order to get into a Union so they can get some contribution toward their healthcare costs. Where are the anti-Union, pro-Capitalist Conservatives who demand that all companies provide quality healthcare options to their employees?
What's more, where are the Conservatives demanding that these billion-dollar companies not abuse the term "freelance" or "part time" in their attempts to avoid putting employees on healthcare rolls?
I am no advocate of universal, government-run healthcare. I am, however, an advocate of morality over greed. Whether you're reading Hillel or Jesus, the Jewish thing to do is to treat your employees as you would like to be treated, and if you're treated to an employer-provided healthcare plan, so should the crew who keeps your network on the air.
So, AJW, how could you call yourself a Conservative if you see all of these gross injustices and flaws in the Conservative belief system?
Good question. Every political belief system has its flaws for this simple reason: politics is nothing more than a human attempt to create order out of chaos-- and that is something only G-d Himself can do. I identify myself as a Conservative because Conservatives recognize that G-d is the giver of liberty and, because of that fact, we have the right to live free lives, to make free choices, and to be respected as we respect others.
Sure, liberals (progressives, socialists, whatever they want to be called these days) may rail against the injustice of the privileged monied classes and the "evil" corporations ganging up on their version of the "little guy," (I don't know if I'd fit into that category or not; I am a woman, but I'm not very "tan") but their answer to the problem is a human one. They embrace systems that enshrine men into godlike positions and history shows that once these men are empowered they become some of the worst dictators humankind has ever seen. Simply put, leftists either deny that G-d exists, or that He even gives a damn, leaving us to do it all on our own.
What's more liberating:
Taking a job you didn't really want, paying your bills, getting yourself out of debt, and having a nice life filled with family, friends, and good times anyway--
OR
Taking a check from the government, waiting for the government to tell you when you need medical treatment, watching your parents get euthanized by death counselors when they are diagnosed as being a burden to the State, and living your life behind closed doors because your race/creed/sexuality/etc. don't mesh with the way the government says you should live?
If Lessons 1-3 have taught me anything, it is that there is no justice on this earth. So, why believe that we can create it ourselves? Ask any Russian you know; no one ever said, "With Stalin, all things are possible."
So, for lack of a better term, I identify myself politically as a Conservative. It is a flawed system at best and, perhaps, it is because I've been afforded opportunities to see it face-to-face that I openly admit the only flag I will ever truly wave will be Israeli, and the only group I ever join will be the one I was born into by choice. I am no starry-eyed political groupie and that will always result in my being an outsider in some regard.
But as long as that means I can see the truth, I am willing to pitch my tent outside the gate.
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